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November 26 HELLhais yep im living in a place likened to hell without the source of happiness ...
hais sm 1 is gonna remind me tat im the one who drove the source of happiness away ..
yeah i agree with tat ...
hais crap ...i guess i was right i will nvr ever let go of those happy n peaceful memories ba..
Not now not in the future ..never ..
Maybe if sm 1 were to ask me if i ever regretted ..
i guess i will probaly answer ..
hell yea i regret ...haixx ...doesnt matter now i guess
End of grumbling ... August 19 shuangHaiz my mother nagging n comparin me to other ppl agn ... If is last time de me i would have shouted at her now ... cant be bothered ...sian la.....sain so i just walk out of the hse she yell for all she wan .....Haiz its a wonder i survived last time I survived because of 1 person 1 reason now no person 1 diff reason...... Just now I went my hse downstairs to have a drink ...so shuang .... old habits r hard to die lol at first oso feel like havin a smoke but 4get it ...no mood n too lazy to ...n oso 1 more reason .... August 18 Thoughts ....Duh ... I went to watch Secret just now... nice show by jay chou .. amazing in fact ... Its was amazing becox of the courage he had and oso e power of love ...he gave up his present life to go back to the past just to be with the gal he love ... perhaps it was because of e strong bond between them ba... after watching i was like thinkin if dat hpn to me wad will i choose my present or to e past ...i think past ba ...bein able to be with e person i love is a blissful life ... and oso i dun reali like my present life ..lol ...that gal's secret is sure big ... Everyone has secret ..... i oso have 1 that I have nv ever told anyone b4 .... but I suppose i will just kip to myself forever ....
bad day agnThk gdness I treasured yesterday ..... Obviously God won't be so nice to give me more one day of happiness .... Yesterday was heaven , today is hell . Wish I was deaf ....first thing I wake up in the morning then kana shouted at ....wth.... haiz pone bills 119 ....dots.... but I think this month will be lesser ba .... I hardly touch my pone yet all .... sian all crap msg frm ppl .... msgs dat i wan i kn will nv appear so no point holding my pone 24/7 hoping .... I guess today will be shitty .... but I will still be the same to me cox except for ytd everyday of my past 1 n half mth totally suck so I will not be surprised by anything bad today ....expected ... Just hope that will be sick agn then can ignore everyone evrything agn ...... Now to me the most imp thing is probaly getting gd grades ...that is e onli thing I can regaard as imp now .... duh ... no imp ppl .... or maybe still gt but i dun feel like mentioning .... Haiz i just want to quickly exit out of this skul .... Someone recently ask me if there are things I can change what will it be .... and my ans was who I am .... I dun wan to be me anymore .....
Long time ago someone told me that she has alot of things to say but duno how to say so she didnt say .... I nvr use to udnerstand why people often kept opinions quiet ... why they nv ever tell ppl what they want to say .... Now I understand le .... the feeling of having lots of things to say to a person but unable to say it out thus can only keep it to heart ..... Sometimes I feel like sayin out but after a while i will change mind ... wads the point of grabbin on the memories that are in the past ... and forgotten by ppl .... Even if what i say might change everything but to gd or to bad ...... August 17 thoughts....Since this few months , i think today is my best n happiest day.... I did something nice for people lols....but i dun feel like saying what it is cox dat will be like bragging.... =X anyways i finally fully recover from my illness.... seriously i aint that excited. At least when I am sick I am not so aware of things happening to me or around me...at least I am unaware of the reality. Now that I am aware ....i think that being sick is good.. I can just close my eyes and no one will bother me with anything . Now lots of disturbances and when will they ever end?.....
Now i dun tink of anything or anyone i shouldnt be thinking of ....unless i c them..... and whne that hpns memories comes..... how easy to rmb them but how hard to forget n when will i ever manage to do tat....
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